Once I died

I don't know why, but the last few days I have been thinking about writing this blog. I tell myself that it's not something that I need to write, but then I come right back to thinking about writing it again. Maybe something is supposed to come out of this, who knows, so here goes.

I died when I was 3. I had no memory of this happening for most of my life, at least no memories that I could explain, but then a few years ago my mother told me that it happened. My mother had left me with my aunt to watch while she was out running errands. Apparently, I was outside for a few minutes, just long enough to fall into the pool and drown. I don't know how long it was, I guess no one really does, but it couldn't have been more than just a few minutes. My aunt was visiting with a friend of hers inside the house, when they realize that I was out of their line of site. They came outside and saw me floating there face down in the pool, and I would imagine that they pulled me out as quickly as possible. I guess it was my lucky day, because the friend of my aunt's was a nurse and she was able to resuscitate me in time before there was any brain damage. (As far as I can tell, anyway.)

When I say that I had no memories of this event, I mean that I had none until I heard this story. Once I did, it was as if my imagination combined with potential memories, and it was as if I could see all of this happening to me. I can see the two ladies panicked, running outside, pulling me out of the water I can see this other woman resuscitating me, all from about 10 feet in the air, then nothing. It's as if the only memories I can recall from that day are during the time I had my face in the water. Who knows, it could be just my imagination.

So, for obvious reasons, all of this makes me think of spirituality. I've always thought that I had more unanswered questions than I've had answers in this department. Growing up in a Catholic household, going to catechism classes every week for 10 years, I always felt like everyone around me was so sure in their beliefs. Growing up, I often felt somewhat inadequate spiritually because I had so much doubt in what I was being taught to believe. Catholic school teachers don't like being questioned, and though I didn't have a nun to slap me with a ruler, Catholic guilt can be just as effective as a form of punishment.

When I left home for college I started an age of real spiritual exploration. I started dating girls that were of different religion; Jewish, Baptist, Mormon, Church of Christ, and others. I learned what I could about them, and I would attend services. One of the most bizarre experiences was being in a service for one protestant religion or another, and hearing them talking shit about the Catholics. I'm not just talking about hanging out after service and hearing people talking shit. I'm talking about a deacon or minister, on the pulpit, preaching to his congregation about how bad the Catholics were. So much for loving your brother.

I then started reading what I could about "alternative" religions. I researched Wiccan and Liman witchcraft. I studied Alistair Crowley and I read up on the Kabbalah. I studied the Druids, astrology, the Greek and Romans Gods, and more recently, I've read up on Zachariah Sitchin and the ancient Sumerian texts. Running out of global religions to study, I learned also that there is a galactic, or universal outlook on spirituality, and that there are many people who claim to channel the spirits of our ancestors, or even alien beings from high above the earth who purport to be the very angels and prophets that are written about in so many of our Holy Books.

One of these channeled beings is Ra, that's right, the old Egyptian god, Ra. In his channelings, he speaks of the Law of One. A universal law that we are all one, that what I do to you, I do to myself, and that we are all connected on the quantum level. If you've heard of the book made movie, "The Secret" and the Law of Attraction, then you've heard of the Law of One. Most metaphysical theories now, much of what we are discovering about the nature of quantum physics, sound, and sacred geometry can find it's roots in the Law of One.

In everything I've learned, by keeping my soul and mind open to any possibility, I have learned that no matter what you believe, no matter what religion you subscribe to, if you tear away the dogma and the fear behind any belief system, there is one universal truth. Love one another. Jesus, Buda, Mohammed, a trinity of witches, or even space aliens, they all send the same message. Love one another. Be the example that I have set.

I believe now that I have a very good grasp of the true meaning of spirituality. It's tied into the reason that we are here, why we have chosen to take on this life in this body. It's all just One thing: To be given the opportunity to experience and deliver love. Just imagine the world we could be living in free of religious conflict, free from greed and the self serving results of fear. If this country is indeed on the brink of economic collapse, if the world is undergoing a change leading up to 2012, I hope that we can all put aside everything else, and just do one thing: love!